So Fresh & So Clean

Today, as I was stretching to reach the top of the shower rod, so I could thread plastic loops through the holes of both the shower curtain and the liner, which I couldn’t even see because I’m way too short, I thought… adulting is stupid.

Half the time, I feel like I’m playing house, doing these seemingly random chores … even though nothing ever seems to really get done. Not all the way. Never am I like, “Oh, thank God, I’ve done all the tasks!” Nope. They are never done. It’s a hamster wheel. A perpetual to-do list of cleaning, tidying, and doing things that mess up the clean & tidy space, so the whole cycle has to start again. 

Maybe it’s because Spring is on its way here in the Southland (the sun is beaming gloriously right now), but I am obsessed with cleaning things out. My closet? Yeah, I want nothing in it. Literally. I’d be thrilled if I looked in there and saw mostly blank space. Emptiness feels so… refreshing. 

I blame this all on not moving in 2020. Or 2021. In fact, there is no move in sight for us. We are going to actually live in this house like full-grown adults for an indeterminate amount of time. Until Jane was in second grade, we moved every 2 years or so. And now… we’ve lived in the same house for MORE than three years. What is this tomfoolery? Now I’m going to have to actually paint the walls a color I don’t hate. And organize things so that I can find them. This level of adulting requires SPRING CLEANING.

Moving clears out a psychic space for me. Gives me a way to start over. Leave behind the things I don’t like. Now I’m going to have to actually work on the things I don’t like. And have conversations about things I want to change. 

Moving is my favorite distraction technique. But there is no more moving to be done. We are happy where we are. And anything that is making me unhappy is …. well… me. And no amount of moving is going to fix that.

So, I’m going to have to do the stupid adulting stuff like washing and re-hanging the shower curtain. And occasionally wiping down the baseboards. But I’m seriously considering a major clear-out of about 90% of what I own. 

Isn’t the cardinal rule of adulting that a tidy, airy house leads to a lighter spirit? 

Oh… no? 

Well, it should be. 

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