Dear Trans Kids:
I went outside today, and the blueness of the sky took my breath away. I stood there, feeling the barely-there burn of the sun against my skin, and I remembered deeply, on a cellular level, that the divine infuses everything. Me. You. The sun, the moon, the stars, the trees. We are all part of this big magical world. Your transness is part of that magic. You are magical.
I know most of the time you probably walk around completely unaware of your own magic, too busy just trying to make it through the day to see the little spark of the divine that is you. I get it. You’ve got a lot going on. And it must sometimes feel like the world hates you, what with all the anti-trans nonsense being passed by adults who just don’t get it, who just don’t see you. Who would rather cling rigidly to what they think they know than to take the leap of faith required to admit that they do not in fact know everything.
But, here’s the good news: you know who you are. And some of us are listening really closely to what you have to say. I am. I am listening and watching how you move through the world. I think you are brave (although I wish you didn’t need to be so brave all the time. Everyone needs a rest every now and again). And the way you see aspects of gender and sexual orientation surprises me, and often delights me. Because, in fact, I never thought of it quite the way you do. So thank you for educating me. Pushing me. Requiring me to be better. To do better. To know better.
I want you to know that the world is changing. For the better. Sometimes at a glacial pace. And not always in a linear fashion. Sometimes we backslide a bit before we reach new understanding, greater equality, more radical love. But I will fight for you. Always. And the people who you think hate you… they don’t. They hate that the world is changing, and they don’t understand it. And they are afraid. Fear makes people do very ugly things sometimes. Don’t let them make you mean-afraid, too. You keep shining your bright light. And I’ll be here to pick up the slack when you get scared. Or tired. Or when you want to just go be a kid. Because you should get to do that, too.
One more thing: people can and do change. Promise. So, if you’ve got a person you love BIG who doesn’t understand your transness, don’t give up hope. I am married to a really rad trans guy. I didn’t know he was trans when I met him (to be fair, he didn’t really know either!). And I was really mad when he told me he wanted to transition. Because I was afraid. And I said and thought some things that I am embarrassed of now. Because I didn’t get it. But I asked questions, and I wondered, and I listened. And I learned that being trans is part of who he is. It’s a non-negotiable fact. And now, I think his transness is part of his magic. I get it now. And I’m so proud of who he is and how he moves through this world. He changed me. And he showed me how to fight for you.
You have people cheering you on. People who love and respect you. People who want the biggest most beautiful version of life for you. If you think you don’t have anyone, you have me. I will always listen. I will fight for you. And we will win. Because that’s what love does.
Love, love, love you–so much,
Kendra Gayle Lee