Heart Squeeze

Lined up there, those clay pots weren’t but a breath from each other. Each one its own miniature riot of color: white, pink, red. Practically vibrating with exuberance, in that late afternoon summer light caught somewhere between the ripest lemon and the tartest lime that squeezes my heart leaving just the echo of an ache.... Continue Reading →

Allyship >White Woman Tears

If my goal is to be an antiracist—not just as a badge I stick on my person for a nod & a smile from other white liberals but as a way of being that goes to the core not only of my actions but my beliefs and my ideas/thoughts—I’m going to be wrong a lot. A whole hell of a lot.

Scholastic Book Fair Fangirl

Walking into the Scholastic Book Fair as a kid made me tingle with anticipation. All those Apple paperbacks lined up just so, each of them a whole little world contained in its pages. And then there were the scented erasers, which I collected like trading cards but refused to use. Ever.  At 9 years old,... Continue Reading →

Ordinary Girls

I picked up Ordinary Girls by Jaquira Diaz because it’s on the 2021 Bookish Reading Challenge List. Because folks told me it was intensely good. And I love memoirs. And also… I knew Jaquira Diaz kind of tangentially from my time at the University of South Florida. I don’t know what I expected, really. Maybe... Continue Reading →

Wistfulness

Her palm-sized mary janes pump back and forth, each leg secured in a square hole, holding on to the bar, examining me carefully.   I smile behind my mask and wave. Then I lose the thread. Her tenuous attention shifts.  I’m alone in the checkout, suddenly mourning my daughter’s toddlerhood. Hard, long hours. Battles of wills.... Continue Reading →

Wrong Side of the Bed

Wake up, brain churning, moving toward the to-do list, sucked into its gravitational pull. But the list reeks of scarcity and scrambling. Reset. Gratitude isn’t cosmic & significant this morning.  It’s dog videos and raisin toast and the kid in her unicorn shirt--looking the perfect combination of the baby she was & the grown person... Continue Reading →

Don’t Buy What They’re Selling

I peered warily down at my thighs oozing across the chair like pancake batter across a hot griddle.  Gross. I glanced surreptitiously at the other girls sitting close to me. Their thighs behaved.  Why did mine take up so much space? I lifted them up off the chair just a tiny bit, making them smaller.... Continue Reading →

1990s Lesbian

I woke up in the middle of the night acutely aware of my vulnerability. I felt exposed, stripped bare, unnerved by my fragility. This morning, still weirdly raw, I spied a version of every 1990s lesbian I knew fixing her truck at the Valero. I felt a rush of affinity for this random woman. And... Continue Reading →

George Floyd

He should be alive, surely. They all should, those men killed for their Little Trees. Those children killed for a bag of Skittles. But America is poisoned to its core by racism and genocide. The killing of black men and women isn’t happenstance or accident. It is the Machine working as it was meant to—crushing... Continue Reading →

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