I went clambering up an embankment this morning, using roots as footholds, basically feeling like a badass. A very tired badass. Who cusses a lot. When normal people find out that I run miles in the woods for fun, they think I’m weird. Aren’t you afraid you’ll fall? they inquire, clearly concerned about my physical... Continue Reading →
Blue-skied Grief: Living in the Both/And
Grief is sneaky. And it can only be kept at bay for so long. Above all else, grief wants to be felt. To be dealt with. Grief wants you to sit right there in it. Some stupidly beautiful TikTok song that Jane played for me on our way to the Little Tart for a before-school... Continue Reading →
Sometimes You Don’t Know What You Need, Until You Do
I had no idea what I was doing when I opened a small, independent bookstore three and a half years ago. I also had no idea that I had no idea. A startling worldwide pandemic swooped in six months later, disabusing me of the notion that I understood anything about, well, anything. Seemed like as... Continue Reading →
Before the Commentary Killed the Moment
Krispy Kreme was a whim. I was ready to cocoon in my hotel room with a piece of writing that’s eluding me. Maybe, with no distractions, I could finally coax it out. I was really too full for a donut. I’d just eaten dinner, which featured thick steak fries, with a light brown crisp around... Continue Reading →
Out of Focus
My focus landed wrong in this picture. That’s what taking a photo with my glasses on leads to: imperfect focus. I can’t see what’s on the screen. So I have no idea what I’m capturing. Just an image of what should be there. But then I thought, who is to say that bud there in... Continue Reading →
Reading Mary Oliver (with my dog)
“Listen, whatever you see and love—that’s where you are.” Mary Oliver, Dog Songs: Poems For the past few days, Mary Oliver's poems have been my gift to myself each morning. With my coffee. Early, before everyone else gets up. Well, everyone except Delilah, who is up at soon as she hears me reach for the coffee... Continue Reading →
White Lady with the Messy Hair: Acknowledging Whiteness
Sometimes I am more aware of my whiteness than other times. It’s a point of privilege, I realize, to be able to completely forget the color of my skin. Sometimes. It’s always a privilege, but it’s only sometimes that I forget. Other times, I am hyper aware of my whiteness and the ways that it... Continue Reading →
Good Morning (The Deconstruction)
In an exceptional display of undying love and infinite magnanimity, the soon-to-be 12 year old allowed me to play a Chicago song this morning on the drive to school. In an exceptional display of undying love and infinite magnanimity, the soon-to-be 12 year old allowed me to play a Chicago song this morning on the... Continue Reading →
Get Low (Low, Low, Low)
I can get a little bit in my head about things. Alright, I can get a lot in my head about things. It’s gotten better with age–I’ve learned to rouse myself out of my inward spiral, take a look around, notice that birds are singing, bees are buzzing, and life is occurring all around me. ... Continue Reading →
I Made It Out of the Canyon! (1200 stairs later)
I ran 12 miles through the woods. And if that sentence gives you an image of me crashing through the forest footloose and fancy free, I can assure you that’s not what this particular run looked like. Trail running is half blind belief that you won’t slide off a mountain and half channeling your own... Continue Reading →