adventures

She often naysays new adventures. Always pushing to discover precisely what’s in store. Unknown throws her off-kilter. But life is inscrutable. Most of the time. So I push her. To explore. To rest easy in the not knowing. I wonder if I’m the best teacher, myself a resister of spontaneity. But I’m in recovery from... Continue Reading →

Existence

The plane hung there, suspended far overhead, so small it required careful squinting to verify its reality. Silent. So still that it seemed to fade in and out of existence, to bend space and time itself. Clouds dissipated over the plane’s edges, blurring it into both being and nonbeing. Solidly ephemeral. The plane vanished behind... Continue Reading →

Foisting Childhood Regrets Like a Boss

I spent my whole childhood standing around uncomfortably. Waiting for people to notice. Never asking for what I needed. Just standing. Ostensibly to avoid being a bother. But becoming more bothersome in my silence. Today, when it was my kid’s turn in line, simultaneously all adults got distracted. She froze, triggering the moments I’d been... Continue Reading →

The Anti-Worry Squad

On Twitter, a mom insisted worry should be ingrained in the return-to-school process during COVID. As if I were letting kids down by not succumbing to a vortex of worry. Worry has never manifested anything good in my life. Never changed anything. Instead, worry blocks me from wise decision making. From exploring all the options,... Continue Reading →

First Day

The first day of school is like the liquidy center of that throwback 1980s gum I always begged for as a kid. A burst of surprise on a regular weekday. Something new, a flood of possibility. Warm fluidity, everyone bound together by first day jitters and the elation of a new adventure. I can viscerally... Continue Reading →

Summertime

Summer descended on Atlanta. The air is thick, close, heavy. The sun shines gloriously, deceptively beautiful enough that you believe you need to shimmy into its radiance. Until you do and the heat sucks your breath right from your lungs. The reprieve of the shade soothes, though. And when a breeze deigns to grace Atlanta,... Continue Reading →

Pure Light

Sharp pain behind my right eye. Throbbing brain. A vortex of omnipresent pain. A doorbell chimed vaguely in the background. A customer appeared.  Black.  Queer. Immigrant.  That trifecta, people thought, was the worst possible hand, he said. But he identified privilege in the knowledge that he could chart his own path, could see a future... Continue Reading →

Heart Squeeze

Lined up there, those clay pots weren’t but a breath from each other. Each one its own miniature riot of color: white, pink, red. Practically vibrating with exuberance, in that late afternoon summer light caught somewhere between the ripest lemon and the tartest lime that squeezes my heart leaving just the echo of an ache.... Continue Reading →

Wistfulness

Her palm-sized mary janes pump back and forth, each leg secured in a square hole, holding on to the bar, examining me carefully.   I smile behind my mask and wave. Then I lose the thread. Her tenuous attention shifts.  I’m alone in the checkout, suddenly mourning my daughter’s toddlerhood. Hard, long hours. Battles of wills.... Continue Reading →

Wrong Side of the Bed

Wake up, brain churning, moving toward the to-do list, sucked into its gravitational pull. But the list reeks of scarcity and scrambling. Reset. Gratitude isn’t cosmic & significant this morning.  It’s dog videos and raisin toast and the kid in her unicorn shirt--looking the perfect combination of the baby she was & the grown person... Continue Reading →

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