A few years ago, in the middle of the most heated, long-simmering, agonizing public situation I’ve ever been party to, a woman lobbed this doozy at me:  You aren’t God, you know. My initial response skewed heavy toward the snark (in my own head… or more accurately, much later in the shower—which is where I... Continue Reading →

Hesitation

I spent most of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.  That’s a pretty shitty way to live. It means that every time you feel real joy, there’s a pin-prick of fear… because what if it all goes away? And that tiny prick of fear builds into a swell…because how would you ever... Continue Reading →

Dance, I Said

If I were to run smack into my sixth grade self right now, my first thought would be, "Oh, honey." And then I'd get straight to work helping me be slightly less of a dork. The problem was that I just had no clue. Other kids were a little like aliens to me. I didn't... Continue Reading →

Secrets Are Small Soul-Deaths

A woman who carries a secret is an exhausted woman.Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés I gave up being exhausted in late 2008. For 33 years, I'd been collecting secrets (big and utterly minuscule) and stacking them precariously in various corners of my soul. Which meant I couldn't round a corner without... Continue Reading →

Seriously. Just Let Go.

I'm a well-documented recovering control freak. I love nothing more than a well-worn pattern, a comfortable sense of expectation. Spontaneity? Sure, as long as it's carefully planned. Just BEING is something I've been trying to perfect for a while now. (See what I did there? Because being is about the moment... and you can't perfect...... Continue Reading →

High Horses

I've got a long history of martyrdom. Not in the heroic, up-in-flames kind, either. Nope. Just the kind that chooses misery and suffers (mostly) silently for it. What the hell, right? It's a bit murky, even for me. But I think it goes something like this: If I choose to do something that I don't... Continue Reading →

Whatever I Want. Gosh.

I've run into an odd phenomenon. Maybe it's best illustrated by a quick little graphic: Huh. Well then. To carve out space to read, write, and meditate, I wake up at 5:30 am. So I can get these these things done before the "real" day starts at 8. And, no, I don't feel guilting doing... Continue Reading →

Ruin

Growing up, our family folklore contained a whole mess of cautionary tales against being ruined. The word got repeated so often, I can still hear its South Georgia pull in my head, feel the loss behind it. Ruination focused on one thing: loss and the inability to move past it, to eventually be able to... Continue Reading →

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