Good Morning (The Deconstruction)

In an exceptional display of undying love and infinite magnanimity, the soon-to-be 12 year old allowed me to play a Chicago song this morning on the drive to school. In an exceptional display of undying love and infinite magnanimity, the soon-to-be 12 year old allowed me to play a Chicago song this morning on the... Continue Reading →

It’s Complicated: Love for Grown Folks

I didn’t understand what love would be like. Not love for grown-folks.  How could I really?  Love isn’t something you can understand until you are in the thick of it. And then sometimes it’s hard to parse out exactly what you should be doing, when and how you should draw lines, chart new directions, rely... Continue Reading →

Buses, Morning Chaos, and My Work

Mornings are a barrage of talking, negotiating, finding lost objects, and hurrying the sixth grader out the door.  How getting her to the bus stop on time requires rushing in any way, I have yet to puzzle out. She gets up at 6:45am. The bus arrives at 8:45am. Should she be able to fashion her... Continue Reading →

Foisting Childhood Regrets Like a Boss

I spent my whole childhood standing around uncomfortably. Waiting for people to notice. Never asking for what I needed. Just standing. Ostensibly to avoid being a bother. But becoming more bothersome in my silence. Today, when it was my kid’s turn in line, simultaneously all adults got distracted. She froze, triggering the moments I’d been... Continue Reading →

The Anti-Worry Squad

On Twitter, a mom insisted worry should be ingrained in the return-to-school process during COVID. As if I were letting kids down by not succumbing to a vortex of worry. Worry has never manifested anything good in my life. Never changed anything. Instead, worry blocks me from wise decision making. From exploring all the options,... Continue Reading →

First Day

The first day of school is like the liquidy center of that throwback 1980s gum I always begged for as a kid. A burst of surprise on a regular weekday. Something new, a flood of possibility. Warm fluidity, everyone bound together by first day jitters and the elation of a new adventure. I can viscerally... Continue Reading →

Wistfulness

Her palm-sized mary janes pump back and forth, each leg secured in a square hole, holding on to the bar, examining me carefully.   I smile behind my mask and wave. Then I lose the thread. Her tenuous attention shifts.  I’m alone in the checkout, suddenly mourning my daughter’s toddlerhood. Hard, long hours. Battles of wills.... Continue Reading →

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