I broke up with my therapist a little while back. Nice woman. Jaunty British accent. Gay. (She got good marks on all these fronts.) But, we ran up against a topic that she just wasn’t able to hear me on. I like to tell people that I broke up with her because she told me... Continue Reading →
I am the kind of person who really loves a challenge. I am also the kind of person that likes to inform people what kind of person I am. I have to fight that impulse. I’ve found that those sort of declarations pigeonhole me. And I’m not overly fond of pigeons. I am the kind... Continue Reading →
Pick people who will reflect your true self back to you. They are guides. They are a pain in the ass, but they are guides.
I didn’t like group projects when I was in school. This is a surprise to exactly no one who knows me. I’m happy to be around a group of people. But working with people? Collaboratively? No, thank you. I can do this on my own. But owning a small business has disabused me of many... Continue Reading →
My birthday is coming up, which means I’m simply reeling with possibility. Not about the celebration. I used to care a lot what folks did to mark my birthday. Now I just care about cake of some sort. And my family being there, of course. With cake. (Is it even a birthday if there is... Continue Reading →
Mornings are a barrage of talking, negotiating, finding lost objects, and hurrying the sixth grader out the door. How getting her to the bus stop on time requires rushing in any way, I have yet to puzzle out. She gets up at 6:45am. The bus arrives at 8:45am. Should she be able to fashion her... Continue Reading →
Adulthood is one long voyage into uncertainty. When I was a kid, I assumed adults had their shit together. Behind those big, translucent pink framed glasses, the moms of all my friends seemed to have a tidy sum of to-do lists that culminated in a well-oiled family machine. Mine certainly did. My family was conservative... Continue Reading →
I am attached to the lie about why I didn't get my PhD. It's a pet lie. In my head it looks something like this: And it's more comfortable than the truth, which stings a little and is, well, embarrassing--as truths can sometimes be. The lie goes like this: I'd reached a point in my... Continue Reading →
Using a working definition of love that tells us it is the action we take on behalf of our own or another’s spiritual growth provides us with a beginning blueprint for working on the issue of self-love. –bell hooks, All About Love People talk a lot about self-love and self-care. From a practical standpoint, though,... Continue Reading →
I misunderstood adulthood. I thought it was a destination that, once reached, meant all my shit would be irrevocably together. But, seemingly, there’s no magical destination. And having one’s shit together is apparently not a linear process, not a level to be unlocked. Instead, it’s more cyclical, with some ebbs and flows. And seemingly random... Continue Reading →
