There are no wedding pictures of Simon and I in our house. This particular fact bothers our daughter. But, for me, it’s just part and parcel of how much Simon and I have changed since 2006. He had a different name then and presented in the world in a way that never quite sat right... Continue Reading →
I Did Not Give Her a Mixtape of Breakup Songs
I broke up with my therapist a little while back. Nice woman. Jaunty British accent. Gay. (She got good marks on all these fronts.) But, we ran up against a topic that she just wasn’t able to hear me on. I like to tell people that I broke up with her because she told me... Continue Reading →
The Words then the Meaning
I just wrote the shittiest first draft of the story (much of) my life is built around. How can something so near be so hard to pin down in words? But when the cursor blinked at me, a little mockingly, if I’m honest, I just kept pressing on, focusing on the tippity-tap of the keyboard... Continue Reading →
Maybe Knowing Thyself Isn’t All That Easy
Years ago, back in Florida, I spent hours sitting in community centers and church fellowship halls, drinking really bad coffee, and learning things that would keep me sober and sane. One of those ideas that I loop back to the most is that our self perception is slow to change. In fact, we're often the... Continue Reading →
It’s Complicated: Love for Grown Folks
I didn’t understand what love would be like. Not love for grown-folks. How could I really? Love isn’t something you can understand until you are in the thick of it. And then sometimes it’s hard to parse out exactly what you should be doing, when and how you should draw lines, chart new directions, rely... Continue Reading →
Flashlights & Love
Our first Valentine's Day together, Simon got me a flashlight. Oh, he got me some red roses, too. But the flashlight was the main present. He wanted me to be prepared, just in case. This is his way, laying a path and making way for my independence, nurturing my strength. But I didn't know that... Continue Reading →
It’s Who We Are
Outside our small, yellow house in Atlanta, a huge Pride flag waves in the breeze. I love that flag. It tells a part of our family's story that is no longer easily visible. The near unraveling of our marriage in 2016 broke something in me. I thought I'd try to piece it together, to come... Continue Reading →
Is Love Really Enough?
How My Partner & I Completely Fell Apart After His Transition Photo Cred: RM Lathan When Simon transitioned, I knew — knew down in my bones — that this would be better. For him. For our family. For our daughter, Jane. But that knowing clashed directly with my belief about who I was — defined largely by being a lesbian. I couldn’t... Continue Reading →