Prayer (or something like it)

The awe of a new place, that’s prayer. Wonder-drenched wanderings, prayer too. Shaking off fretfulness to focus on just this one particular, precious moment: prayer. Laughter that shakes loose something long forgotten, a lightness of being, a freedom; that is also prayer. Standing in the presence of art, anything that you decide is art (there... Continue Reading →

I’m a Failure at Social Niceties.

I’ve forgotten how to shake hands. Which one? Left? Right? Something that used to be commonplace–I prided myself on the integrity of my handshake–feels alien. And, well, germy. I’ve also misplaced my ability to appear interested in a conversation I don’t care about. Make no mistake: I care about many, many things. Solidly on my... Continue Reading →

Falling (Leaves)

We were idling in the Starbucks line in a nearby Atlanta suburb, suspended in a pre-caffeination afternoon languor. The suburbs hold a tinge of the exotic now, like we’re somehow stealing away from our normal lives, hiding out in plain sight, ordering lattes in a drive-thru. Suburban life is a collision of the foreign and... Continue Reading →

Misunderstanding the Assignment

I misunderstood adulthood. I thought it was a destination that, once reached, meant all my shit would be irrevocably together. But, seemingly, there’s no magical destination. And having one’s shit together is apparently not a linear process, not a level to be unlocked. Instead, it’s more cyclical, with some ebbs and flows. And seemingly random... Continue Reading →

On Capital

Sitting still is a struggle. I resist it mightily–if not in bodily motion, by sullying the stillness with a generous portion of guilt. For not getting more done. Not accomplishing. Even though wisdom is born of stillness. I fight a constant urge to get up, move, do. To produce. To have something to show. Something... Continue Reading →

Heart Squeeze

Lined up there, those clay pots weren’t but a breath from each other. Each one its own miniature riot of color: white, pink, red. Practically vibrating with exuberance, in that late afternoon summer light caught somewhere between the ripest lemon and the tartest lime that squeezes my heart leaving just the echo of an ache.... Continue Reading →

Wistfulness

Her palm-sized mary janes pump back and forth, each leg secured in a square hole, holding on to the bar, examining me carefully.   I smile behind my mask and wave. Then I lose the thread. Her tenuous attention shifts.  I’m alone in the checkout, suddenly mourning my daughter’s toddlerhood. Hard, long hours. Battles of wills.... Continue Reading →

Wrong Side of the Bed

Wake up, brain churning, moving toward the to-do list, sucked into its gravitational pull. But the list reeks of scarcity and scrambling. Reset. Gratitude isn’t cosmic & significant this morning.  It’s dog videos and raisin toast and the kid in her unicorn shirt--looking the perfect combination of the baby she was & the grown person... Continue Reading →

Don’t Buy What They’re Selling

I peered warily down at my thighs oozing across the chair like pancake batter across a hot griddle.  Gross. I glanced surreptitiously at the other girls sitting close to me. Their thighs behaved.  Why did mine take up so much space? I lifted them up off the chair just a tiny bit, making them smaller.... Continue Reading →

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