Misunderstanding the Assignment

I misunderstood adulthood. I thought it was a destination that, once reached, meant all my shit would be irrevocably together. But, seemingly, there’s no magical destination. And having one’s shit together is apparently not a linear process, not a level to be unlocked. Instead, it’s more cyclical, with some ebbs and flows. And seemingly random... Continue Reading →

On Capital

Sitting still is a struggle. I resist it mightily–if not in bodily motion, by sullying the stillness with a generous portion of guilt. For not getting more done. Not accomplishing. Even though wisdom is born of stillness. I fight a constant urge to get up, move, do. To produce. To have something to show. Something... Continue Reading →

Heart Squeeze

Lined up there, those clay pots weren’t but a breath from each other. Each one its own miniature riot of color: white, pink, red. Practically vibrating with exuberance, in that late afternoon summer light caught somewhere between the ripest lemon and the tartest lime that squeezes my heart leaving just the echo of an ache.... Continue Reading →

Wistfulness

Her palm-sized mary janes pump back and forth, each leg secured in a square hole, holding on to the bar, examining me carefully.   I smile behind my mask and wave. Then I lose the thread. Her tenuous attention shifts.  I’m alone in the checkout, suddenly mourning my daughter’s toddlerhood. Hard, long hours. Battles of wills.... Continue Reading →

Wrong Side of the Bed

Wake up, brain churning, moving toward the to-do list, sucked into its gravitational pull. But the list reeks of scarcity and scrambling. Reset. Gratitude isn’t cosmic & significant this morning.  It’s dog videos and raisin toast and the kid in her unicorn shirt--looking the perfect combination of the baby she was & the grown person... Continue Reading →

Don’t Buy What They’re Selling

I peered warily down at my thighs oozing across the chair like pancake batter across a hot griddle.  Gross. I glanced surreptitiously at the other girls sitting close to me. Their thighs behaved.  Why did mine take up so much space? I lifted them up off the chair just a tiny bit, making them smaller.... Continue Reading →

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