I made a new friend. At work. Because owning a bookstore means my new friends come to me. I’m lucky that way. Anyway, this new friend, she’s smart. And a lot silly. She likes books. And she wears cooler clothes than me, which I find funky, inspiring, and (surprisingly) not threatening. She’s younger than me,... Continue Reading →
Underwater
Today has an underwater quality. Like sitting on the bottom of the pool, cross-legged, watching the prisms of light bounce around, anchored by inertia and the bubbles cascading out of your lungs that kept you stationary, pinned in this world. The burn behind my eyes reminds me of those summers, too. The delicious thought of... Continue Reading →
The Words then the Meaning
I just wrote the shittiest first draft of the story (much of) my life is built around. How can something so near be so hard to pin down in words? But when the cursor blinked at me, a little mockingly, if I’m honest, I just kept pressing on, focusing on the tippity-tap of the keyboard... Continue Reading →
Out of Focus
My focus landed wrong in this picture. That’s what taking a photo with my glasses on leads to: imperfect focus. I can’t see what’s on the screen. So I have no idea what I’m capturing. Just an image of what should be there. But then I thought, who is to say that bud there in... Continue Reading →
First Impressions of Adulting
I took the stairs two at a time, headed up to the eighth floor. I wondered, for the third time, whether showing up at a new job wearing a red baseball cap, camouflage cargo shorts and a ribbed white tank top the thickness of tissue paper was such a good idea. I shrugged it off.... Continue Reading →
It’s the Final Countdown (to 365, baby)
Perimenopause can suck it. For real. I cannot be physically AND emotionally tired all the time. That just lacks practicality. And the hot flashes, blood flowing through my body like molten lava. So cliché. And distracting as hell. I sleep just fine. As long as I ingest a couple teaspoons of magnesium before bed. If... Continue Reading →
Prayer (or something like it)
The awe of a new place, that’s prayer. Wonder-drenched wanderings, prayer too. Shaking off fretfulness to focus on just this one particular, precious moment: prayer. Laughter that shakes loose something long forgotten, a lightness of being, a freedom; that is also prayer. Standing in the presence of art, anything that you decide is art (there... Continue Reading →
I’m a Failure at Social Niceties.
I’ve forgotten how to shake hands. Which one? Left? Right? Something that used to be commonplace–I prided myself on the integrity of my handshake–feels alien. And, well, germy. I’ve also misplaced my ability to appear interested in a conversation I don’t care about. Make no mistake: I care about many, many things. Solidly on my... Continue Reading →
Falling (Leaves)
We were idling in the Starbucks line in a nearby Atlanta suburb, suspended in a pre-caffeination afternoon languor. The suburbs hold a tinge of the exotic now, like we’re somehow stealing away from our normal lives, hiding out in plain sight, ordering lattes in a drive-thru. Suburban life is a collision of the foreign and... Continue Reading →
Misunderstanding the Assignment
I misunderstood adulthood. I thought it was a destination that, once reached, meant all my shit would be irrevocably together. But, seemingly, there’s no magical destination. And having one’s shit together is apparently not a linear process, not a level to be unlocked. Instead, it’s more cyclical, with some ebbs and flows. And seemingly random... Continue Reading →