Every morning of my late twenties dawned with sickening dread. Every morning. I’d wake up and immediately begin the slow slide into the murky depths of shame. And fear. And regret. Anxiety gripped me like a vise, making it hard to breathe. I hated myself, pitied myself, held dear a storied mythology of myself. What... Continue Reading →
It’s funny, the stories I will tell myself sometimes…
One of the greatest joys of being sober is doing shit you never even dreamed of... I didn't have such a great imagination when I was drinking. Sure, I could sit on a barstool & tell you I was going to run a marathon the year I turned 30 (even though I'd never run more... Continue Reading →
Her Timing is Always a Mystery
Parenting is largely intuitive. Right? Or am I doing it wrong? Because this really feels, for the most part, like a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants endeavor. It's not so much the "where do babies come from?" conversations... those big ones are expected. You kind of get to plan for those. And, honestly, for us that one was easy...... Continue Reading →
Know what grace looks like for me? It looks like reckoning with a 1000 piece puzzle. It looks like family. It looks like gratitude.
A Control Freak Gets Sober: A Short Case Study
I walked in, freshly pressed in a white shirt, crisp jeans and my beloved cowboy boots. My hair, pulled up in a clip, projected a no-nonsense image. Or, at least, I hoped it did. I wanted to be at the top of my game for this meeting. I pulled back one of the folding chairs,... Continue Reading →