I'm a well-documented recovering control freak. I love nothing more than a well-worn pattern, a comfortable sense of expectation. Spontaneity? Sure, as long as it's carefully planned. Just BEING is something I've been trying to perfect for a while now. (See what I did there? Because being is about the moment... and you can't perfect...... Continue Reading →
Somehow, I beguiled the 9 year old into taking a run with me yesterday. Well, actually, it was more like a directive: Put on your running shoes. Do not lay on the floor and cry like last time. That will not work this time. Pull it together, Tina, and let's go. (Yes, we totally call... Continue Reading →
I've run into an odd phenomenon. Maybe it's best illustrated by a quick little graphic: Huh. Well then. To carve out space to read, write, and meditate, I wake up at 5:30 am. So I can get these these things done before the "real" day starts at 8. And, no, I don't feel guilting doing... Continue Reading →
In a stairwell in college, traipsing up to the third floor after dinner, a boy who'd been hanging around a whole lot decided that then and there was the moment to profess his feelings for me--over his shoulder as he bounded up flights of stairs in front of me. It was too warm in that... Continue Reading →
Growing up, our family folklore contained a whole mess of cautionary tales against being ruined. The word got repeated so often, I can still hear its South Georgia pull in my head, feel the loss behind it. Ruination focused on one thing: loss and the inability to move past it, to eventually be able to... Continue Reading →
I get real quippy about my anxiety sometimes. Because it's easier to be glib and light-hearted about anxiety than to admit that sometimes it threatens to suck all the air (and joy) out of my world. And, also... I'm fortunate that, over the years, people (qualified, professional people) have given me tools to cope with... Continue Reading →
Life lessons abound... even in the the most magical place on Earth.
My seeming unwillingness to eat in high school drove people berserk. My friends constantly tried to bribe me with food from Chili’s, IHOP chocolate chip pancakes, the occasional Big Mac. I took a bite of a few fries (sometimes). Or I’d just languidly sip soda while they ate. I weighed 90 pounds; a strong gust... Continue Reading →
We say, “I’m sorry,” a lot in this family. This apologizing bit is relatively new to me. In fact, when Simon and I met, I truly sucked at apologies. An apology from me most often began with “I am sorry your feelings got hurt…” or “I am sorry you feel that way…” Yeah, personal responsibility... Continue Reading →
In the very first, raw days of being sober, Amy and I clung to each other for support. Since the day we met, at a local lesbian bar, we’d been co-conspirators—very drunk co-conspirators. Now, the same two people who’d spent the past five years egging each other into hitting up happy hour every day were... Continue Reading →
